Infinite Possibilities on a blank sheet of paper.
On the way to Honolulu to meet with friends and celebrate their big5-0, I checked out the movie that has been getting a lot of press. It was Everything, Everywhere, All At Once. What caught my attention was how it was almost a coming of age movie for Asian actors. The award show buzz. Michelle Yeoh and the kid at Indiana Jones. I was curious. The movie blew my mind, I watched the movie and it was a story of multiverse. A movie that is both sci-fi crazy and heart heavy. That somewhere out in a different dimension, that another you exists.
I had always been curious about other dimensions, I would like to believe it is true as much as I would like to believe in many lives. That we are re-born to a new being and our life continues on for infinity.
That mentality of another life, another dimension, help me get through the challenges and shortcoming of what I have in this current life I am living. In this life, I wish I was more artistic. I wish I can draw, or paint, or play an instrument. I am fascinated by art and how it transforms not only the artists but the consumers. Artists create something beautiful. A respite, an escape, even for just a few minutes. Like taking you to a different dimension. When you sing a song, when you dance to a music, when you read a book, when you stare at a painting, you are transported to other dimensions. I am happy to know that somewhere out there, somewhere out in the past or future, a version of me is an artist creating something beautiful for the world to consume.
When I was much younger and I could not catch sleep, I would imagine myself in a big game of volleyball. I wish I have a talent for sports. I remember the first time I ever held a basketball at a PE class, it felt good dribbling that ball up and down the court. For someone who has not held a ball as a kid, I thought I can do this . I remember the first volleyball I hit. The pressure from the ball hitting my wrist was like a shockwave through my limbs. Seeing that ball alley through the net, and received by another player, I was in awe. I remember running around the field for track. And I thought to myself, how difficult is it to run? When you don't run as a kid, I must tell you, I have always felt like running is that one sport I cannot seem to conquer. As an adult I started to re-live or realize those dreams of athleticism. I have registered for charity races, endurance events, and got a medal of participation. I admire the discipline and tenacity of athletes. To be able to endure physical training and be the best at what you do. Test it out against others who have the same passion as you. The mental focus to block the noise, external and internal during the game to win. And ultimately, doing it all over again when you lose a game. Amazing feat of the human body and the mind. I am happy to know that someone out there on a different dimension is competing, training, winning, knowing that they may be losing in a game but yet doing it all over again.
I would also imagine myself as a writer. Writers are able to use words to guide the readers through a world, people, places, situations, that may or may not exist. Writers are able to articulate science phenomena, historical events, social correlations, and everything in between. Writers help us understand our emotions, fulfill our curiosities, and drive our imaginations. Somewhere out there, sometime in the past, and someday in my future life, I take comfort that there is a writer me. And I am happy for her, fulfilling my dreams.
This comfort that I feel about other dimensions and many lives may be to blame of not pursuing It in this current life or my present dimension. I am sure some of you will tell me, never too late to play sports, nor write a thought in fact I am writing it now. I too, when life gets tough, accept that things may be just is in this current life. That somewhere out there, a different me is enjoying and fulfilling their whole self. That it is ok live half here. Maybe if I do not believe in other dimensions and other lives, I will do my very best, fight for this life. Like an athlete who plays to win, and doing it all over again regardless of the result. Maybe if think that I am the only person that will ever exist in this universe, in this life, that I will push myself to have the best story of a life that a writer can author. An ensemble of a cast that builds on each other. Maybe if I believe that there is no other dimension, that there is no past life or future life, that we get one life to live, I will make the most of it.
Maybe I can believe in both. That there is someone out there who is me exceling in arts, music, sports, and what have you. I am happy for her, but I live in this dimension and let her know that the other her is also living the best life possible. I don’t want to think that there are other me out there who is sitting in the sidelines waiting for me to live her life.
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